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Happy New Year!!
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Friday, March 16, 2012
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wanna 0101001001?
A robot tried to seduce me the other day.
We have Google Talk on our team's website, which allows anyone who clicks on it to immediately connect to an operator on IM so they can ask questions in real time.
That one operator is me.
11:37:47 AM cowgirlcutie6659: hello?
11:37:52 AM Jennifer Lui: hi!
11:38:00 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hey what's up? 23/F here. u?
11:38:21 AM Jennifer Lui: who's this?
11:38:26 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hmm. Have we chatted before?
11:38:31 AM Jennifer Lui: no i don't think so
11:38:38 AM Jennifer Lui: are you interested in joining our team?
11:38:41 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Oh ok. I wasn't sure. Anyways... Whats up?
11:39:05 AM Jennifer Lui: are you looking for a rugby team?
11:39:15 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.
11:39:27 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girl strip on cam?
11:39:57 AM Jennifer Lui: did you specifically go onto our website to offer to strip?
11:40:07 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Welllllll.... Do you wanna watch me strip on cam?
11:40:23 AM Jennifer Lui: this makes me uncomfortable
11:40:39 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked trhough so i cant be recorded ok?
11:40:48 AM cowgirlcutie6659: It only takes a second babe and its free. k?
11:41:00 AM Jennifer Lui: you don't seem to be responding to the words i am typing
11:41:15 AM cowgirlcutie6659: http://verifiedcams.com/nikki ok go there then click on the gold JOIN FREE button at the top of the page. ok?
11:42:06 AM Jennifer Lui: are you targeting female sports teams?
11:42:18 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Also it does ask for a credit card when you signup. But DONT worry
11:42:29 AM Jennifer Lui: if so, i think you're being a bit presumptive
11:42:32 AM cowgirlcutie6659: It dosent charge the card at all. Not even a penny. Its just to make sure your over 18. k?
11:42:56 AM Jennifer Lui: .....
11:43:11 AM cowgirlcutie6659: K babe well hurry up. When you get logged in then view my cam and we can have some fun
11:43:26 AM cowgirlcutie6659: I also have some toys ;-X but you have to tip me some gold or take me in private to see those.
11:43:45 AM Jennifer Lui: i hope you get herpes
11:43:54 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hey lets talk on there my aim is messing up.
11:44:06 AM Jennifer Lui: YOU'RE messing up
We have Google Talk on our team's website, which allows anyone who clicks on it to immediately connect to an operator on IM so they can ask questions in real time.
11:37:47 AM cowgirlcutie6659: hello?
11:37:52 AM Jennifer Lui: hi!
11:38:00 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hey what's up? 23/F here. u?
11:38:21 AM Jennifer Lui: who's this?
11:38:26 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hmm. Have we chatted before?
11:38:31 AM Jennifer Lui: no i don't think so
11:38:38 AM Jennifer Lui: are you interested in joining our team?
11:38:41 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Oh ok. I wasn't sure. Anyways... Whats up?
11:39:05 AM Jennifer Lui: are you looking for a rugby team?
11:39:15 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.
11:39:27 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girl strip on cam?
11:39:57 AM Jennifer Lui: did you specifically go onto our website to offer to strip?
11:40:07 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Welllllll.... Do you wanna watch me strip on cam?
11:40:23 AM Jennifer Lui: this makes me uncomfortable
11:40:39 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked trhough so i cant be recorded ok?
11:40:48 AM cowgirlcutie6659: It only takes a second babe and its free. k?
11:41:00 AM Jennifer Lui: you don't seem to be responding to the words i am typing
11:41:15 AM cowgirlcutie6659: http://verifiedcams.com/nikki ok go there then click on the gold JOIN FREE button at the top of the page. ok?
11:42:06 AM Jennifer Lui: are you targeting female sports teams?
11:42:18 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Also it does ask for a credit card when you signup. But DONT worry
11:42:29 AM Jennifer Lui: if so, i think you're being a bit presumptive
11:42:32 AM cowgirlcutie6659: It dosent charge the card at all. Not even a penny. Its just to make sure your over 18. k?
11:42:56 AM Jennifer Lui: .....
11:43:11 AM cowgirlcutie6659: K babe well hurry up. When you get logged in then view my cam and we can have some fun
11:43:26 AM cowgirlcutie6659: I also have some toys ;-X but you have to tip me some gold or take me in private to see those.
11:43:45 AM Jennifer Lui: i hope you get herpes
11:43:54 AM cowgirlcutie6659: Hey lets talk on there my aim is messing up.
11:44:06 AM Jennifer Lui: YOU'RE messing up
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Slow carb die-it
Carbs are your friend. Well, they're MY friend at least. And I will never abandon them again.
I recently experimented with the Slow Carb Diet by Timothy Ferris as an act of curiosity and moral support. It's supposed to help build lean muscle and slim you down. I only want one component of that, but I thought, let's try it.
On this diet, you can basically eat as much as you want as long as you're not eating carbs or fruit. The second you agree to this, you will become hyper aware of just how surrounded we are by carbs and fruit. They're everywhere. Flaunting their starchy and/or juicy selves and daring us to jam them into our faces.
At first, it wasn't so bad. 'Cause I love meats. I could eat meats all day every day. (Insert joke.) And veggies are a-ok in my book. But I didn't realize how many calories carbs and fruit were accounting for in my diet. I ended up having to eat 2 or 3 servings more of protein and veggies to make up the difference. And even then, I wasn't getting enough calories to supplement my calorie furnace body because I was working out as if I was eating like an American.
To take on this diet you have to plan ahead and carefully think about your grocery trips. Things I was not doing well. So, I became hungry. Really hungry. All the time. I would eat whatever I could find that was within the rules. Some days, I would even eat an extra dose of gummy vitamins in a sad attempt to fill my carb-free void.
Even though it was completely counterproductive to my weight gain goals, I saw it as a test of will. An epic test of will that would last a whole FOUR DAYS. When I almost dropped a weight on my head, it was all over.
Well, I guess my moral support will have to come from inspirational signs made out of cardboard. I could fashion them out of pizza boxes.
I recently experimented with the Slow Carb Diet by Timothy Ferris as an act of curiosity and moral support. It's supposed to help build lean muscle and slim you down. I only want one component of that, but I thought, let's try it.
On this diet, you can basically eat as much as you want as long as you're not eating carbs or fruit. The second you agree to this, you will become hyper aware of just how surrounded we are by carbs and fruit. They're everywhere. Flaunting their starchy and/or juicy selves and daring us to jam them into our faces.
At first, it wasn't so bad. 'Cause I love meats. I could eat meats all day every day. (Insert joke.) And veggies are a-ok in my book. But I didn't realize how many calories carbs and fruit were accounting for in my diet. I ended up having to eat 2 or 3 servings more of protein and veggies to make up the difference. And even then, I wasn't getting enough calories to supplement my calorie furnace body because I was working out as if I was eating like an American.
To take on this diet you have to plan ahead and carefully think about your grocery trips. Things I was not doing well. So, I became hungry. Really hungry. All the time. I would eat whatever I could find that was within the rules. Some days, I would even eat an extra dose of gummy vitamins in a sad attempt to fill my carb-free void.
Even though it was completely counterproductive to my weight gain goals, I saw it as a test of will. An epic test of will that would last a whole FOUR DAYS. When I almost dropped a weight on my head, it was all over.
Well, I guess my moral support will have to come from inspirational signs made out of cardboard. I could fashion them out of pizza boxes.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Che Chen!
Congrats to Cherish (aka Che Chen) and Chad on their marriage!
This past weekend the majority of our Chug For Five reunion group got together to watch one of our own tie the knot. The ceremony was short, sweet, and fun of Penn State references. Just the way it should be.
Highlights include the card we got them. A fancy-looking number that said "Love and Cherish" in glittery script on the front. We put our own C45 touches on it and crossed "Love" out with a thick sharpie and wrote "CHAD" right above it. Classy.
I love this group of friends. This group is that group of friends you have that you don't always get to see and sometimes you fall out of touch with them for a while, but every time you're reunited it's like you never left that dirty, condemnable rugby house on Atherton Street.
Yes, some things are different. We're all real people now. With real jobs. (Some for the first time ever.) We know a little bit more about ourselves and the world around us.
But we can only suppress our natural instincts for so long and then this stuff come out. (This flying kick belongs to a doctor. A real life certified practicing health care professional.)
Looking forward to all the mystery bathrobes, the fruit loops we'll steal, and the Marriot Rewards we'll earn together in the future, ladies.
This past weekend the majority of our Chug For Five reunion group got together to watch one of our own tie the knot. The ceremony was short, sweet, and fun of Penn State references. Just the way it should be.
I love this group of friends. This group is that group of friends you have that you don't always get to see and sometimes you fall out of touch with them for a while, but every time you're reunited it's like you never left that dirty, condemnable rugby house on Atherton Street.
Yes, some things are different. We're all real people now. With real jobs. (Some for the first time ever.) We know a little bit more about ourselves and the world around us.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Lui vs. Hulu
Even though I work in advertising, I find that I am constantly trying to undermine it. Maybe I secretly despise it. Maybe it's latent frustrations bubbling to the surface. Maybe I am just an asshole.
In my latest battle, I've been picking a fight with Hulu. When it asks me for feedback about ads I go out of my way to give the most confusing answer possible.
If it gives me this screen, I do nothing.
If it asks me this...
... I always click no, hoping to leave it scratching its head and wondering what a isolated self-sufficient cave dweller with no disposable income is doing watching Glee on Hulu.
It tells me "Thanks! We'll use your input to improve your ad experience." Well, Hulu, I can tell you that this experience will never be pleasant for me. And I hope my input breaks your innards.
In my latest battle, I've been picking a fight with Hulu. When it asks me for feedback about ads I go out of my way to give the most confusing answer possible.
If it gives me this screen, I do nothing.
If it asks me this...
... I always click no, hoping to leave it scratching its head and wondering what a isolated self-sufficient cave dweller with no disposable income is doing watching Glee on Hulu.
It tells me "Thanks! We'll use your input to improve your ad experience." Well, Hulu, I can tell you that this experience will never be pleasant for me. And I hope my input breaks your innards.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Nom nom ^ nom
Ok, ladies. Get ready to feel like punching me in the face.
I've asked my friend Teena, a registered dietician, for some help in my quest to gain weight. She busted out some science-y formula and decided that I need to eat close to 3000 calories in order to reach my goal.
I was pretty successful on the first day. This is what I ate:
3 eggs (210)
sour cream (120)
salsa (20)
veggies - corn and beans (340)
banana (172)
coffee (2)
3 plums (50)
chipotle chicken bowl with a bunch of stuff (891)
half a rotisserrie chicken (700)
veggies and cheese (135)
snickers ice cream (180)
TOTAL [2820 calories]
But I had to really try and seek out something food coma-inducing. Normally, I work through lunch or grab whatever's lying around or scavenge like an office hobo for leftovers from morning meetings.
I'm gonna have to do a lot more scavenging now. Maybe the "Skinny on the Inside" competition and I can work something out. Maybe I can be their garbage disposal. I can follow them around and eat all their leftovers or any foods they feel too guilty to eat.
It may seem like I come out on top in this deal, but I'm not so sure. The thought of eating like a sumo-in-training every day makes my innards hurt. Plus, knowing the amount of calories and cholesterol I just ate kind of grosses me out.
So, don't shun your salads. You don't have it so bad. I would actually welcome a nice light salad, but I can't waste my time with something like that. Rocky didn't punch heads of lettuce. No. He laid into big ol' slabs of meat that don't get pushed around.
After all, you are what you eat.
I've asked my friend Teena, a registered dietician, for some help in my quest to gain weight. She busted out some science-y formula and decided that I need to eat close to 3000 calories in order to reach my goal.
I was pretty successful on the first day. This is what I ate:
3 eggs (210)
sour cream (120)
salsa (20)
veggies - corn and beans (340)
banana (172)
coffee (2)
3 plums (50)
chipotle chicken bowl with a bunch of stuff (891)
half a rotisserrie chicken (700)
veggies and cheese (135)
snickers ice cream (180)
TOTAL [2820 calories]
But I had to really try and seek out something food coma-inducing. Normally, I work through lunch or grab whatever's lying around or scavenge like an office hobo for leftovers from morning meetings.
I'm gonna have to do a lot more scavenging now. Maybe the "Skinny on the Inside" competition and I can work something out. Maybe I can be their garbage disposal. I can follow them around and eat all their leftovers or any foods they feel too guilty to eat.
It may seem like I come out on top in this deal, but I'm not so sure. The thought of eating like a sumo-in-training every day makes my innards hurt. Plus, knowing the amount of calories and cholesterol I just ate kind of grosses me out.
So, don't shun your salads. You don't have it so bad. I would actually welcome a nice light salad, but I can't waste my time with something like that. Rocky didn't punch heads of lettuce. No. He laid into big ol' slabs of meat that don't get pushed around.
After all, you are what you eat.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
These things drive me crazy
I really hate those driving billboards. Not only are they unnecessary environmental pollution. They're visual pollution.
I mean, let's be honest, a lot of ads are an eye sore. (This is coming from someone who works in that industry. I'm allowed to be judge-y.) But all these mobile billboards do is release carbon dioxide into the air and annoy consumers. Most of these things don't even have an idea.
You're telling me that this is effective when it's passing by at 25 miles per hour?
Kill yourself, billboard. Your appendages should be slashed.
I could only find one example that didn't infuriate me.
It has an idea. And it doesn't actually move. Bravo.
I mean, let's be honest, a lot of ads are an eye sore. (This is coming from someone who works in that industry. I'm allowed to be judge-y.) But all these mobile billboards do is release carbon dioxide into the air and annoy consumers. Most of these things don't even have an idea.
You're telling me that this is effective when it's passing by at 25 miles per hour?
I could only find one example that didn't infuriate me.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Hot mess, hot tranny mess
I have a wedding to go to next weekend. A wedding with some old rugby friends from college. I'm not looking to impress anyone. (We've all seen each other in varied states of disarray, so we know that getting all cleaned up is a bit of a sham.) But I would like to look presentable, so I'm shopping for a new dress.
This activity is typically hard for any girl. But it's especially hard when that girl is built like a 12-year old boy. Broad shoulders, no chest, hips and butt as flat as a board. Dresses that are cut for women who actually have a figure usually fall like a potato sack on girls like this. Girls like me.
So, I enlisted some help on my quest. And I got this article back.
These articles are for transexuals and crossdressers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) But really? You could at least distill the information and not let on that you also think I'm built like a prepubescent boy.
Ah well, I guess it can't be helped. And I do appreciate the advice on halter tops.
This activity is typically hard for any girl. But it's especially hard when that girl is built like a 12-year old boy. Broad shoulders, no chest, hips and butt as flat as a board. Dresses that are cut for women who actually have a figure usually fall like a potato sack on girls like this. Girls like me.
So, I enlisted some help on my quest. And I got this article back.
These articles are for transexuals and crossdressers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) But really? You could at least distill the information and not let on that you also think I'm built like a prepubescent boy.
Ah well, I guess it can't be helped. And I do appreciate the advice on halter tops.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Sunday offering
Sunday is not a day of rest. At least not for ad folks.
It's one of the first nice days of summer and there will be no frollicking. Because there's work to be done.
Well, if we have to work, I'm at least going to sit out on our balcony without a shirt* on. I don't care that it's facing a church. A conservative Orthodox church full of jamboners in their Sunday best and little old couples who don't speak English and smell like kitchen.
I don't care that the church-goers from the OTHER Orthodox church directly across the street may wander onto Chicago Avenue and catch a glimpse of my mosquito bites.
I just don't care. 'Cause I'm gonna do something I want to do today. And if I get labeled as the neighborhood creep and people whisper about me in Polish as I walk down the street, well, that works for me.
*(I wasn't topless, pervs. I had on a bathing suit top, ok?)
It's one of the first nice days of summer and there will be no frollicking. Because there's work to be done.
Well, if we have to work, I'm at least going to sit out on our balcony without a shirt* on. I don't care that it's facing a church. A conservative Orthodox church full of jamboners in their Sunday best and little old couples who don't speak English and smell like kitchen.
I don't care that the church-goers from the OTHER Orthodox church directly across the street may wander onto Chicago Avenue and catch a glimpse of my mosquito bites.
I just don't care. 'Cause I'm gonna do something I want to do today. And if I get labeled as the neighborhood creep and people whisper about me in Polish as I walk down the street, well, that works for me.
*(I wasn't topless, pervs. I had on a bathing suit top, ok?)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Word of the day
You know what word I like? Turgid. It means swollen and distended or congested.
What I like about it is its almost onomatopoeiac structure and that saying the word further defines it. Because saying the word turgid is reminiscent of choking on your own spit. It's can also be like an offensive imitation of a fat person. There are so many different levels.
Plus, it's flawlessly used in this amazing movie review.
What I like about it is its almost onomatopoeiac structure and that saying the word further defines it. Because saying the word turgid is reminiscent of choking on your own spit. It's can also be like an offensive imitation of a fat person. There are so many different levels.
Plus, it's flawlessly used in this amazing movie review.
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